So I will be honest my mood lately has been to just lay in bed all day and forget the world exists for sure. I have probably spent too much time on cancer support groups, websites and food blogs to re-frame from going completely insane. I have had to call out of work for another two days but this time it wasn't for my mother or grandmother but instead for my CAR! Alexander (my car, yes I named him... *No I don't care if you think that is weird (:*) decided to have his own issues, cause why not?
His starter went and they couldn't get the part in till yesterday at like 7 pm, so they closed before fixing my car. Although the fixed it in the morning but then it still wasn't fixed because my alternator was also FUCKED! So almost 2 days later and several hundred dollars later... Alexander is fixed and back in the garage where he belongs but honestly my whole brain is fried.
All I can say is thank God mom is okay for now. She is having problems eating right after chemo but then a couple days later she can eat better but it's a lot of nausea. I am learning more and more about Non Hogans Lymphoma, probably more than I should but I need to be mentally prepared because I have control issues and I am already having issues with the fact that this is something I can't fix really does bother me.
Not to mention the added stress of being in a relationship with someone who doesn't seem to be wanting or capable of growing up. I told him that I wouldn't be able to come to his house since I have so much going on but he just doesn't get it. I have spent most of our relationship bending for him and now I am not doing it. Honestly he is just showing me that I can live without him and that's dangerous.
Well that's my thoughts for this Saturday night... Let me know if you can relate or if having advice.
Sincerely yours from your favorite drama queen,