Humor Feed to FG http://www.truthispainful.com/index.php Sun, 20 May 2012 22:02:24 -0700 5 http://www.truthispainful.com/index.php?showtopic=380 here.

"Boob exposure.
The women at UNC-Wilmington are in a constant competition to out-boob one another. It’s getting so bad that one of the parents wrote to me complaining after he had been to a UNCW student orientation and seen many barely-dressed girls there. My financial advisor was on campus recently and said the same basic thing. Ladies, let people get to know you a little better before you start showing them your breasts, nipples and all. We know some of you paid good money for your breasts but that doesn’t mean we all have to see them. Some of my most expensive guns are locked away in secret. It’s just something you might want to consider.

I’m sure some feminist will be offended that a man is trying to control a woman’s boobies. My booby, my choice! But I believe women are better off offended and employed than un-offended and unemployed. "

[Emphasis mine - Ed.]]]> Tue, 09 Sep 2008 07:58:42 -0700 http://www.truthispainful.com/index.php?showtopic=380 http://www.truthispainful.com/index.php?showtopic=379 Neal's site)

David Letterman apparently did a list of "Top Ten Signs Barack Obama is Overconfident" ... now there is some brouhaha over this list and whether or not it will be re-aired, blah blah blah. So in case you've yet to see it, here's the list:

10. Proposed a bill to change Oklahoma to "Oklabama"

9. Offered Bush 20 bucks for the "Mission Accomplished" banner

8. Asked guy at Staples, "Which chair will work best in an oval-shaped office?"

7. The affair with Barbara Walters

6. Having head measured for Mount Rushmore

5. Guy sits around eating soup all day

4. He's voting for Nader

3. Offered McCain a job in gift shop at Obama presidential library

2. Announced his running mate will be Andy Dick

1. Been cruising for chicks with John Edwards]]> Thu, 21 Aug 2008 06:25:16 -0700 http://www.truthispainful.com/index.php?showtopic=379 http://www.truthispainful.com/index.php?showtopic=376
Clip Here.]]> Thu, 07 Aug 2008 10:11:37 -0700 http://www.truthispainful.com/index.php?showtopic=376 http://www.truthispainful.com/index.php?showtopic=374 Link here.]]> Fri, 01 Aug 2008 06:46:45 -0700 http://www.truthispainful.com/index.php?showtopic=374 http://www.truthispainful.com/index.php?showtopic=369 Funny video (~2 min).]]> Wed, 23 Jul 2008 08:00:04 -0700 http://www.truthispainful.com/index.php?showtopic=369 http://www.truthispainful.com/index.php?showtopic=368 It's F*@%ing Science!]]> Tue, 22 Jul 2008 10:07:53 -0700 http://www.truthispainful.com/index.php?showtopic=368 http://www.truthispainful.com/index.php?showtopic=367 Stars and Stripes Forever performed by the Muppets.

This is great! It's a YouTube video clip, so it's not for the slow of connection.]]> Tue, 22 Jul 2008 10:05:57 -0700 http://www.truthispainful.com/index.php?showtopic=367 http://www.truthispainful.com/index.php?showtopic=363 I have 4 extra tickets for the Robbie Knievel daredevil event at the State Fairgrounds next weekend if anybody wants them. He's going to try to jump 500 Obama supporters with a large bulldozer.]]> Sun, 22 Jun 2008 23:06:39 -0700 http://www.truthispainful.com/index.php?showtopic=363 http://www.truthispainful.com/index.php?showtopic=359
I never got the hang of that stupid stuff. I mean, what idiot came up with this ridiculous idea to mixing letters of the alphabet with numbers? It makes no sense what so ever!!!!

When I started school, the teachers taught us how to put letters together to make works. That was so cool, until I learn to put letters together to form works I wasn't suppose to be using.

Then the teachers taught us how to use numbers to cipher. That was cool too, and easier than using the fingers. Especially when I might not have enough fingers. Anyway, this seemed to be a great system. Letters for making words and numbers for ciphering. Hot dam, everything was copasetic, and I was on a role.

Then I got to HS and I tried this new fangled thing called Algebra. What the hell!!!! They wanted to teach me how to use letters with numbers to cipher? Who's bright idea is this anyway? Everyone knows that letters are for making words! NOT FOR CYPHERIN'!!!! This just wasn't going to work. Letters don't have value like numbers. How the heck am I suppose to multiply a x b or divide x ÷ y? And to make things worse, they want us to break this thing down like diagramming a sentence in English Grammar. Well, now I'm really messed up cause I didn't do so well with that diagramming stuff either.

The whole algebra idea was whacked. Screw that! I switched to real math, where we stuck with using numbers to cipher with.

No wonder the world has gotten so screwed up. They try to teach the stupidest things in school. Why couldn't they just stick to the 3 R's (Readin', Rightin', and Rithmetic). Algebra IS NOT Rithmetic!!! I think it's really a mind altering thing. Good thing I escaped, or I might be dumb as a brick, like some of them college people.]]> Sun, 18 May 2008 12:34:07 -0700 http://www.truthispainful.com/index.php?showtopic=359 http://www.truthispainful.com/index.php?showtopic=343
Link here.]]> Wed, 23 Apr 2008 07:37:55 -0700 http://www.truthispainful.com/index.php?showtopic=343 http://www.truthispainful.com/index.php?showtopic=327
Next thing you know the Liberals will be claiming that they are smarter than everyone else because they are liers. Problem is, I think this theory requires that you have to be able to tell a lie that you won't get caught at. Liberals always get caught, easily. LOL]]> Tue, 01 Apr 2008 21:23:47 -0700 http://www.truthispainful.com/index.php?showtopic=327 http://www.truthispainful.com/index.php?showtopic=320
Chocolate bunny video.]]> Mon, 24 Mar 2008 06:05:39 -0700 http://www.truthispainful.com/index.php?showtopic=320 http://www.truthispainful.com/index.php?showtopic=290 7:15 pm ~ PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE TO THE U. N.
7:20 pm ~ TED KENNEDY PROPOSES A TOAST
7:25 pm ~ NON RELIGIOUS PRAYER AND WORSHIP - Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton
7:55 pm ~ TED KENNEDY PROPOSES A TOAST
8:00 pm ~ HOW I INVENTED THE INTERNET - Al Gore
8:15 pm ~ GAY WEDDING PLANNING - Rosie O'Donnell
8:35 pm ~ TED KENNEDY PROPOSES A TOAST
8:40 pm ~ OUR TROOPS ARE WAR CRIMINALS - John Kerry
11:00 pm ~ TED KENNEDY PROPOSES A TOAST
11:05 pm ~ COLLECTION FOR THE OSAMA BIN LADEN KIDNEY TRANSPLANT FUND - Barbara Streisand
11:30 pm ~ OVAL OFFICE AFFAIRS - William Jefferson Clinton
11:45 pm ~ TED KENNEDY PROPOSES A TOAST
11:50 pm ~ HOW GEORGE BUSH BROUGHT DOWN THE WORLD TRADE TOWERS - Howard Dean
12:15 am ~ "TRUTH IN BROADCASTING AWARD" - Presented to Dan Rather by Michael Moore
12:25 am ~ TED KENNEDY PROPOSES A TOAST
12:35 am ~ BILL CLINTON ASKS TED KENNEDY TO DRIVE HILLARY HOME

]]> Tue, 05 Feb 2008 05:43:08 -0800 http://www.truthispainful.com/index.php?showtopic=290 http://www.truthispainful.com/index.php?showtopic=286 She kept it fat and plastered;
And when the price of pork went up,
She shot the little bastard.

**********************************
Mary had a little lamb.
Her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her,
Between two hunks of bread.

**********************************
Jack and Jill went up the hill
To have a little fun.
Stupid Jill forgot the pill
And now they have a son.

**********************************
Simple Simon met a pie man going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the pie man,
"What have you got there?"
Said the pie man unto Simon,
"Pies, you dumb ass"

**********************************
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the kings' horses,
And all the kings' men.
Had scrambled eggs,
For breakfast again.

**********************************
Hey diddle, diddle, the cat took a piddle,
All over the bedside clock.
The little dog laughed to see such fun.
Then died of electric shock.

**********************************
Georgie Porgy pudding and pie,
Kissed the girls and made them cry.
And when the boys came out to play,
He kissed them too 'cause he was gay.

**********************************
There was a little girl who had a little curl
Right in the middle of her forehead.
When she was good, she was very, very good.
But when she was bad........
She got a fur coat, jewels, a waterfront condo, and a sports car.]]> Thu, 31 Jan 2008 05:53:01 -0800 http://www.truthispainful.com/index.php?showtopic=286 http://www.truthispainful.com/index.php?showtopic=285
1. You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to beer.

2. You own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes.

3. You have more wives than teeth.

4. You wipe your butt with your bare left hand, but consider bacon "unclean."

5. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.

6. You can't think of anyone you HAVEN'T declared Jihad against.

7. You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing.

8. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.

9. You've ever uttered the phrase, "I love what you've done with your cave."

10. You have nothing against women and think every man should own at least one.

11. You bathe at least monthly whether necessary or not.

12. You've ever had a crush on your neighbor's goat.


[Shamelessly lifted from Nealz Nuze. I don't know where he found it. - Ed.]]]> Wed, 30 Jan 2008 06:41:44 -0800 http://www.truthispainful.com/index.php?showtopic=285